She was sitting on a plane wondering which passenger would be her seat neighbor. In that instance, a guy with a colorful scarf sat down. Smiles and hellos were exchanged. A conversation quickly started and before the plane took off they had made a connection – they were both passionate about the same topic. She researched said topic and he was a keynote speaker/comedian on said topic. Contact info was exchanged. A professional relationship blossomed and she quickly knew that she needed to find a way to bring him in as a speaker at her university. She pulled her connections together, pitched the idea, and a few months later he was keynoting.

We hear our friends and peers say that networking is exhausting, difficult, and scary. We’re here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be any of those things.

Stop thinking about networking as a task. Networking is not a thing to do on a certain day. Don’t wait for the introduction because networking opportunities are all around you. It’s the person sitting next to you on the plane, the person in front of you in line at the coffee shop, even the person standing next to you at a random happy hour. It is not just the people you meet at official networking events (not that you shouldn’t take advantage of those, more to follow in another post).

Forming connections can be simple. And most connections start with something as simple as:

“Hello”
“Great watch!”
“What are you taking a photo of?”
“You look familiar, do you work at…”

Actually, come to think of it, some of these may double as pick up lines too. And as you know, the worst that can happen with that (as long as you’re appropriate) is that someone may ignore you and walk away.

Pick up on social cues. Listen to how someone responds to you. A curt response is probably your cue to walk away. A more engaging response is your cue to continue talking, so do so. If it seems like a connection worth fostering (e.g., did you click? are they in a related field? do they do something you want to learn more about?), consider saying something like, “Would you be interested in continuing this conversation over coffee?” If they say yes, exchange contact info. If they say no, which if you’ve picked up on social cues is highly unlikely, be gracious and polite before walking away.

Do this with everyone. You never know who is sitting next to you. In the story above, she had no idea that her plane seat neighbor with the fab scarf also happened to have a TED talk. So, do not be one of those people who only connects with people who seem important. That barista you just dismissed could have sparked an idea that changed the way you work. And let’s be real, the seemingly “important” people get hounded by tons of people just as unmemorable as you. If you do end up sitting next to someone important, like say…Michael Eisner. Don’t be a bozo and at least introduce yourself. One of us sat next to Michael and didn’t do that…oops.

Oh and just for good measure, you should never judge people as important or not. As one of our dear friends says, no one’s ____ smells like roses.

Lastly, don’t be discouraged if the smiles and hellos don’t instantly lead to a fabulous connection. And don’t let one awkward interaction bring you down, trust us…we’ve had plenty of those and that has yet to stop us. From our experience, a smile and a hello go a long way.

You’ve heard our experience, now let’s hear yours…